Truth is walking and living by the Seven Grandfather Teachings.
You are truthful when you know and understand how to prevent and end violence against Aboriginal women and you are committed to promoting change.
Truth is to know all of the Seven Grandfathers Teachings and to live by them
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Around the world, dedicated women have created support services for women who are survivors of men's violence: safe houses for battered women, rape crisis centres, counselling services, and legal aid clinics. Women escaping violent situations depend on these services. They deserve men's support and our financial backing. Ending violence against Aboriginal women won’t happen overnight. Real solutions are truly long-term solutions. This is because men’s violence against Aboriginal women is rooted in inequalities between men and women, and in the way men learn to be men. Legal changes to combat men’s violence against Aboriginal women (such as laws against rape and battering) are very important. The police and courts must diligently enforce such laws. This is not enough. Let’s work together to change our attitudes and behaviour. Let’s help men be better men by getting rid of our suits of armour; that is, attitudes which equate masculinity with the power to control. Let’s make positive changes in our relationships with women, children, and other men. Let’s involve men as caregivers and nurturers of the young. Changes in attitude, behaviour, and institutions take time. We must look at how we raise future generations. We must teach our children by example that using violence in personal relationships is unacceptable. |
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If you know someone who is being abused, here’s what you can do to help: - Be there. Listen without giving advice, unless it is asked for, and believe what he or she tells you. - Don’t pressure your friend to break up with his or her partner and don’t put the other partner down. This may drive your friend away from you when they need you most. - Acknowledge your friend’s confused feelings. Don’t tell your friend how they should feel. Recognize that it is still possible to love someone who hurts you. - Encourage your friend to get help. Offer to help him or her find a counsellor they can trust, and offer to go with them to meet the counsellor. - Call a Domestic Violence hotline anonymously to find out what you can do to help your friend. - Get written information for your friend on relationship abuse and share it with your friend. - Don’t make victim-blaming statements like “You’re stupid to stay with him” or “Why do you let him treat you like this?”. This will not help your friend. - Don’t ever place conditions on support – let your friend know you will support him or her no matter what their decisions are. - Allow your friend to make his or her own decisions, and respect those decisions even if you don’t agree with them. - Call the police if you witness physical violence. If you know someone who is abusing a girlfriend, here’s what you can do to help: - Tell your friend very clearly that his or her behaviour isn’t cool. - Don’t laugh at jokes or make light of talk about abusive behaviour. - If your friend grew up in a violent home, try to get him or her to talk about how that affected his or her own relationships. - Encourage your friend to get help. Offer to support them to find a counsellor they can trust, and offer to go with them to meet the counsellor. - Be supportive to your friend’s partner. Let them know they don’t deserve to be abused. - Call a Domestic Violence hotline anonymously to find out what you can do to help your friend stop the abusive behaviour, and what you can do to help your friend’s partner. - Get written information on relationship abuse and share it with your friend and your friend’s partner. - Be a role model for healthy relationships by treating your partner and friends with respect. - Speak up when peers make disrespectful remarks or sexist jokes.
Call the police if you witness physical violence. In many cases, an abuser can be required to get counselling.
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If you’ve ever hit, pushed, threatened, or kicked your partner or forced an Aboriginal women to do something sexual she didn’t want to do, then you’ve been part of the problem. If this happened in the past, admit what you did was wrong and make amends if possible. But if such behaviour has any chance of continuing, then you urgently need help getting to the root of your problem. Don’t wait until it happens again. Please act today. Most men will never be physically or sexually violent. We all need to examine ways we might try to control women. Do we dominate conversations? Do we put them down? Do we limit their activities? Do we make the decisions? We all must think about the choices we make. |
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